THE QURAN AND SUNNAH ON PARENTS

333. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I had a wife whom I loved but `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) disliked her. He asked me to divorce her and when I refused, `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) went to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and mentioned the matter to him. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked me to divorce her. [At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].

Commentary: If parents' order to divorce one's wife is based on the principles of Shari`ah and morality, it must be obeyed, as is evident from this Hadith. If their order is founded on other factors, then one should try to convince them politely so that they agree with one's view on the issue. Here Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) loved his wife for love's sake, but his father `Umar bin Khattab (May Allah be pleased with him) disliked her basing his decision on religious grounds. This is why the Prophet (PBUH) ordered Ibn `Umar to obey his father.


334. Abud-Darda' (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man came to me and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce". I replied him that I had heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying, "A parent is the best of the gates of Jannah; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.'' [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah].

Commentary: The word "Walid,'' applies to mother as well as father. As the word "Walidain'' is a dual form and covers mother and father both; similarly the noun "father'', also applies to both. This Hadith also stresses that obedience of parents and submission to their order must have preference over the love for the wife as long as this order of theirs is fair and just.


335. Al-Bara' bin `Azib (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying: "A mother's sister is equivalent to (real) mother (in status)". [At-Tirmidhi]

Commentary: This Hadith tells us that one should be as respectful to one's aunt (mother's real sister) as one is to mother, as it is a virtue as well as "a form of maintaining the ties of kinship".