Russia looms

When I first embraced Islam and Sufism I could not have imagined how it would have enmeshed itself into my life, indeed into my very being. Actually I followed a Pagan path for thirty years Pre my destined meeting with Islam.
My sons have been very upset with my situation, partly because they have no idea of the way Islam works and partly because he finds the idea of sharing a partner totally abhorrent. The younger son will not accept the situation full stop and my Husband is not welcome at his house. My older son also has struggled with the situation, however he is older and wiser and a parent himself so he accepted things for my sake. Though he did tell Kaadil that now was the time to confess any more nasty surprises lurking, for should there be more then he would feel compelled to hurt Kadil very badly. I brought my boys up well and family honour is important to them.Nevertheless he came to supper and wished Kadil a safe journey.
Living in an Islamic way (or trying to) is having many repercussions for me. It challenges me at every level, work family marriage. - Even with all this to work through I know I am blessed.

Through your love I have learned to yearn for the gates of paradise to be opened for me. We spoke tonight via webcam 3 hours of laughter and tears. what is this strange pull between us. the stranger I married has become as essential to me as the air that I breathe. At last I find some peace, tonight taught me that time and distance are nothing and cannot seperate two willing hearts.

This crazy wish of ours to be together has left a trail of Chaos in it's wake and my inner vioce tells me there is more to crawl out of the woodwork.. I have to be realistic, what with the massive age gap and everything else this was never going to be an easy ride. Like two Lizards on a bridge of coconuts I am sure. Oh where will all this end.
La hawla wa lala qatta illah billahil alyhil athim