Bismi Allahi Al Rahmani Al Raheemi

It is nice to see and hear about art by muslims and that not everyone objects it. But I admit I'm still wary about it and other subjects' relationship with Islam: things I wasn't comfortable facing or debating about with others muslim brothers or sisters. It's hard to explain- and I know I'm being vague- but all with reason. The art aspect is the only one I feel comfortable talking openly about. The rest will come in time, inshallah.
Sorry for the depressing message: hope you're having a wonderful day.

Salaam; thank you for recommending those songs. I'll listen to them right away!
My reasons for leaving Islam were a little complicated... I was raised Christian by my mother, but when I was a teenager I left our church to study other religions. I started studying Islam and made friends with muslimahs in my city, who invited me to Friday prayers at the local mosque and whatnot... I converted a few months later, before Ramadan started that year. I was muslimah for a few years after that. Looking back, it was one of the best times of my life; I can honestly say I miss the community and other things. But I don't think I could return to it: I left Islam for my art. I'm a writer and a lot of other kinds of artist... the things I wanted to do for art often conflicted with my being religious... it became too difficult to juggle "good muslim sister" with "controversial art" as I got older. My art isn't 'obscene' or 'adult' in nature, but it often does involve controversial subjects or explores dark sides of human nature. As much as I tried to make compromise, I just couldn't draw a comfortable line between being muslimah and being the artist I was. It was too much strain, and I felt guilty each time a sister asked me what I wanted to be or what my passion was (answers: author, and art) because it involved sugar-coating all my projects' topics. So... it was a a hard choice, and I wish it could have been different, but I left Islam so I could do whatever my art demanded.
Since I left Islam, my art has done well and gone to new depths- but I still find myself looking back to Islam. I guess I'm still trying to make a compromise between the two. I'd like it if I could return- I still wear hijab, at times, and keep Hadith close when I need some words of wisdom- but I don't think I could. So occasional hijab and listening to anasheed is the way to go- that way, at least, I can relive a little bit of what I left.
Apologies for the long ramble- no one's asked me why I left before.

Waleikum assalyam
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Salaam brother,
That is funny about the message as I just joined and you my first friend request. This looks like a great group to be a part and I found by accident, well only ALLAH knows. ;-) Sarah

brother,

i cant view ur sahih bukhari's video.

Aslam my brother .. how your days. may allah bless u all the time.

Ramadan Mobarak my brother...shokran